Having transcended into the next phase with the book, I’m finding myself a bit at a loss with how to approach editing. Now that I’ve read the entire thing front to back and received critique on it, I have a set of outlined elements that need to be integrated, points that need to be clarified, etc.
Foremost in my pursuits are giving my protagonist - or antagonist depending on your perspective, I suppose - more forward motion; orchestrating his thoughts and actions merely beyond a reaction to his environments, but instead elevating them to a conscious feeling of where he stands with the world and why he and the life he is pretending to live are, in reality, fundamentally incompatible.
At this point, it almost feels unnatural to stick new lines in - like I’m trying too hard to zap the problems - and I am at a loss about where I am to start. I know I have to reread with an even more critical eye now that I’m cognizant of what I need to tackle, but fear that I don’t have a distant and discerning enough eye for a productive result.
Beyond that, a lot of what has to change is an elevated sense of the internal struggle of the main character. I don’t know how to add such conscious thoughts without seeming forced, like narration that’s not natural to him. Yes, he’s brilliant and very cerebral, but the glimpses into the type of self-awareness with which I need to deal are limited by both the way he speaks and the type of super subjective selective narration power I’ve given him.
Essentially, the things with which I have to deal are massive, and also very intimate. It leaves me at issue: I’m so engrossed in the structure of the story as is that the places where I’ve created opportunities yet not seized them are almost invisible to me. I need a honed eye who is outside of the story to help, but at this point, most have limited time and it’s a lot to ask of someone. I’ll admit I’m timid to ask for help, not because I’m too proud, but because I don’t want to be an imposition. And, with little perspective on how good or not good this whole thing is, I almost feel as though I don’t have the right to ask for someone’s commitment.
Tomorrow I’m going to pull the plug on the Internet, put my final paper off, and try to spend some time with the chapters. I have a feeling that I’m going to need to be back in New York for the real flavor of what’s to come, but it’s worth a shot. My city is only a few weeks away, anyway.
M
