Over the last six months, I’ve learned a lot about maturity. What I am, what I’m not, what I can and cannot control. I’ve learned from my successes, my mistakes, my presumptions, and the surprises that have been injected along the way. It’s been important in serious ways.
Putting my own maturity, my own age and expectations into perspective has caused me to contextualise others around me, both with myself and my peers. I’ve come to discover things about those close to me - as well as others who sit at a strange distance. While I am thrilled by the excitement that I gain from such analysis sometimes, it’s difficult to sometimes withstand the disappointments both brought on by myself, and when others are exposed.
Mostly, I’ve come to learn that the safest thing to do is just be myself, to accept the fact that I am different, and that I have always been different. But in many ways, I am the same as my peers (even if I fight it), and I need to accept and embrace those things without trying to destroy or erase them. To figure out how my uniqueness, exceptional abilities, anything, settles into the fact that biologically, situationally, experientially, I am who I am. I cannot - and will not - expect anything more.
M
