It’s always nice to feel a glimmer of hope and momentum for change, and without impregnating the next few months (and then subsequent years) with unrealistic expectations, I have positive feelings about the direction of the country. In my lifetime of political cognizance, it’s been a rare thing.
The past few weeks have been trying in many ways. It’s all flown by and I don’t think it’s significant to record, but one is reminded continuously that there are certain people that take important roles in one’s life for real, grounded reasons. I continue to realise that I am lucky to have such people, even when faith in my person, my appearance, my abilities, my anything waivers to the point of debilitation.
I continue to make strides on the manuscript, though I suppose my faith in my abilities isn’t at its peak when I’m not creating, and I’ve been a bit too busy to take the time to work with it in the last week or two. I worry that I’ve dropped in threads that I’m not sure how to pick up, and I suppose I dislike the idea of learning on something that’s so important to me. I convince myself that I can be published - it’s the only way for me to keep going at a serious rate - but realise the difficulties that these expectations realistically plant.
I did, however, just finish a piece on Envy for Skyscraper, which is due out for the Winter #29 issue. It’s nice to feel so passionate about writing for that publication, which is something I think that I’ve lost with certain things along the way. I feel like I am respected to the point that I can be trusted with creative freedom, and have productive conversations about it along the way.
That’s it for now. Thesis review in a few minutes; I’m having so much fun working so intensely with images of these bands which, until now, had just been unprocessed images for magazines and other publications. I’m learning my way around Photoshop and Camera RAW, and can’t wait to see these portraits large-scale on the wall.
M
