Ten Exhausting Things About Being a First-Time Author

1. Agents “not seeking the talent of first-time authors.”
2. How pathetic and anti-climactic the biography paragraph at the bottom of your query letter looks.
3. How querying to small publishing houses feels like a hierarchical playground pick ‘em (and no matter how good your stuff is, you always fear that you’ll never get picked for the team).
4. Losing sleep because even though your characters have fully run their courses, you still haven’t learned how to put them to bed with you.
5. “What the hell is my book actually about?” existential crises six to ten times daily.
6. The anticipation of the yet-to-be-experienced when it rains, it pours phenomenon of rejection letters.
7. The fear that staring at Courier New will never, ever be second nature.
8. Knowing that if you do succeed in getting a deal, one day, your parents will read your book (yes, even the sex scenes).
9. Surrendering control - without surrendering confidence.
10. Liberal guilt about the environment every time you press print.

…add 11, 12 (thousand)…

M

PS - (I just read High Fidelity. Give me a break.)